My Version of P90X is P45L

Perhaps you’ve heard of this workout routine/program called P90X? I’ve seen it in a magazine or two, and heard about it online, but I’m not sure how many people know about it in general. Nonetheless, I’m going to write a bullshit post about it; more specifically, I’m going to clarify what exactly it is — and how half-assed I’m doing it.

The cool thing about this program is that all you need is a pull-up bar, some low-to-medium weight dumbbells (15 lb-30 lb to start), a fitness mat, and an hour and a half a day. I don’t even have the fitness mat, but I’ve been meaning to buy one since I started. The “90″ in the title refers to the amount of days in the program, while the “X” is for XTREME, which I’m sure you could have guessed. The “45″ in my title seemed more clever before I wrote out the reason for the “90″ in the original, and the “L” stands for LAZY. I’m working on another level of funny.

I would make fun of the X for XTREME, but these workouts are pretty damn intense. I’m not in the best of shape, but I’m sure even my gym rat buddies would work up a decent sweat from doing 24 sets of alternating various styles of push-ups and pull-ups, which — other than a few other exercises — comprises the chest and back workout. I usually make it halfway through before I just collapse and give up, which I figure is still better than nothing. This pretty much goes for all the other workouts, too. And I don’t think it’s just the exhaustion; I get bored pretty quickly working out, or at least that’s what I tell myself.

Just for a taste, the CLASSIC schedule for the first three weeks is:

Chest & Back + Ab Ripper X
Plyometrics
Shoulders & Arms + Ab Ripper X
Yoga X
Legs & Back + Ab Ripper X
Kenpo X
Rest or X Stretch

(I think that last one should be Stretch X, don’t you?)

And you know what, I just noticed that there’s a LEAN program on the schedule. Fuck me. Whatever, it’s not like I follow the above schedule to a T anyway. I usually end up running on the “in-between” days — the days between actual focused workouts. It’s working well enough. No before and after pics will be displayed, though. Sorry to disappoint the ladies out there.

The deal is that after three weeks plus a recovery week, the workouts are switched up. Muscle confusion! At least that’s what they call it, who the fuck knows if it’s total bullshit or not. This is done twice for a total of three phases of XTREME WORKOUT. I don’t even have to believe the before and after testimonial pictures to think that there will be massive improvement by the end of the 90 days. I think I’m already feeling a bit better after two weeks, and that’s without following the diet.

Yes, there’s a diet portion to all this. Suggested meals and recipes complete with nutritional guides. If you don’t want to follow their perfect diet, you can try to follow their guidelines for each food group. The diet is in phases too — they thought of everything! As much as I think many advertised workouts and diets are bullshit, this P90x thing seems to be pretty serious. I don’t have the dedication or willpower to follow such a all-encompassing activity, but I can’t imagine anyone who does not getting positive results.

I should have gotten money to write this post. Tony Horton, you owe me.

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